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Do You Have a Work Husband or Wife? Is It a Good Thing?

Mon, 11/29/2021 - 14:38

by Michael S. Hardman

Business Etiquette
A caucasian man and woman working at a computer screen together.

Having strong relationships at work isn’t unusual and can be very beneficial, but there are situations to watch out for. Commonly known as a work spouse, work husband or work wife relationships develop.

In a study by Totaljobs.com., one out of five women has a relationship that would describe as a work husband. Simply Hired conducted a survey and found the results even higher as 50 percent of women labeled a co-worker as a work spouse.

“Obviously, it is very common to see these relationships in the workplace,” said Alan Hubbard, NTI’s Chief Operating Officer, “but you need to have boundaries in place and be aware of the situation with your team. Ideally, you want people to have multiple work relationships, so everyone is working together. It prevents the problem of what happens when things change in the relationship. This can be a big problem when one of the people is promoted or leave the company.” NTI@Home helps Americans with disabilities find at-home-work opportunities with free training and job placement services. You can register for free at www.ntiathome.org.

If one of the work spouses move on the other one can feel left out of the working environment, because they have been leaning on the other person for support, guidance and use them in a confidant role. The danger is sadness going on for a long period of time, which can affect job performance.

“This is a case where making the attempt to get to know your co-workers better, maybe having coffee today,” said Hubbard. “It is a chance to get to know your coworkers better.”

If your friend is being promoted to a manager, you need to respect the relationship will be different with you a different level.

“That can be a major issue and a test of a working relationship,” said Hubbard. “Both parties have to realize things are going to be different and boundaries exist. The manager might not be able to share any company information and avoid favoritism.”

The other danger is when work spouse expands to be conducted outside of work

“It’s the emotional closeness that’s threatening – and that can swiftly morph into romantic dependence,” said Tracey Cox, a columnist for the Global Mail in an article of The Courage.com.  “I’m all for friendships between men and women and have several close male friends myself. But you do need to set boundaries and getting so close that you call a work colleague a ‘wife’ or ‘husband’ can be asking for trouble.”

(NTI@Home helps Americans with disabilities find at-home jobs with free training and job placement services. You can register for free at www.ntiathome.org.)

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Headshot of Michael S. Hardman

Michael S. Hardman

Media Relations Specialist

Hardman started out a sportswriter for the New Bedford Standard-Times at 19 and had a long, award-winning career as an editor and as a writer in journalism for several newspapers before leaving the print business to become a regional digital editor for AOL-Patch. Since then, Hardman has been involved in developing start-up companies and writing on public health, health, and wellness, financial, business and security issues for a variety of companies online.

Being a radio and television broadcaster has also been part of his career journey, doing play-by-play, being a talk show host and working as a reporter for several stations.

In his spare time, Hardman serves a town meeting member in Stoughton, MA, volunteers to help candidates for political elections. He is a member of the Stoughton Historical Society, Municipal Regulations Committee and Disabilities Commission as well as the Stoughton Sons of Italy. He was also recently elected as President of the residents' board of my development.

A graduate of the University of Massachusetts-Dartmouth, Hardman enjoys all sports, trying to finish his first novel, Genealogy, and volunteering.

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